Short answer
Mentorship in the diamond trade has traditionally happened informally, through years of proximity, rather than through any formal program. I think that informality is worth preserving, even as I try to be more deliberate about it.
The best mentorship I received was mostly observational
Early in my career, the most valuable lessons came from watching experienced traders handle real situations — a difficult negotiation, a disputed grading, a supplier relationship under strain — rather than from anyone sitting me down to explain a principle directly. Much of what I learned about judgment in this trade came from proximity to people making real decisions, not from formal instruction.
This has shaped how I try to mentor others now — giving people real proximity to actual decisions, including the harder ones, rather than only explaining principles in the abstract without the concrete situations that make them meaningful.
Good mentorship includes being honest about mistakes
I try to be candid with people I mentor about my own past mistakes, not just my successes, because the mistakes are often more instructive. Understanding how I misjudged a supplier relationship early on, or handled a quality issue poorly before I learned better, teaches more than a polished account of things going well ever could.
This requires a certain comfort with being less than impressive in front of someone you are trying to help, which is uncomfortable but, in my experience, far more useful to the person on the receiving end of the mentorship.
Mentorship should be tailored, not standardized
People come into this trade, and into matchmaking work, with very different backgrounds and different gaps in their understanding. I try to actually assess what a specific person needs rather than delivering the same generic set of lessons to everyone, which requires more attention upfront but produces mentorship that is actually useful to that individual.
This has meant spending more time with some people on fundamentals they were missing, and moving faster with others who already had a strong grounding but needed exposure to more complex situations.
Mentorship flows in both directions
Some of the more useful things I have learned in recent years, particularly about building software and reaching customers online, came from younger colleagues and team members with different expertise than mine. I try to stay genuinely open to this rather than assuming mentorship only flows from more experienced to less experienced people in one fixed direction.
This openness has made it easier to build Kea, Ideal Jodi, and Dilora in ways that combine trade experience with genuinely current technology practices, rather than applying an older playbook uncritically to a newer kind of business.
Mentorship in a community business carries added weight
Mentoring someone in matchmaking work involves passing on not just business skills but also a real sense of the responsibility involved in the work itself, given how personal and consequential the outcomes are for the families involved. I spend real time on this dimension specifically, not just on the operational mechanics of the role.
Someone can learn the technical process of verification or matching relatively quickly. Developing the judgment and the appropriate sense of responsibility that should accompany that process takes longer and needs to be actively taught, not assumed.
The goal is independence, not dependence
I measure good mentorship by whether someone eventually develops the judgment to make sound decisions without needing to check with me first, not by how long they continue to rely on my direct input. Mentorship that creates lasting dependence has not actually succeeded, even if it feels supportive in the moment.
Watching people I have mentored take on real responsibility confidently and well, across the various businesses, has been one of the more genuinely satisfying parts of this work, separate from any specific business outcome it produces.
What to remember
- Give people real proximity to actual decisions, not just abstract principles.
- Share your own mistakes honestly; they teach more than polished success stories.
- Tailor mentorship to what a specific person actually needs rather than a fixed curriculum.
- Aim for the mentee's independence, not their continued reliance on you.
Frequently asked questions
- What should you know about the best mentorship I received was mostly observational?
- Early in my career, the most valuable lessons came from watching experienced traders handle real situations — a difficult negotiation, a disputed grading, a supplier relationship under strain — rather than from anyone sitting me down to explain a principle directly.
- What should you know about good mentorship includes being honest about mistakes?
- I try to be candid with people I mentor about my own past mistakes, not just my successes, because the mistakes are often more instructive. Understanding how I misjudged a supplier relationship early on, or handled a quality issue poorly before I learned better, teaches more than a polished account of things going well ever could.
- What should you know about mentorship should be tailored, not standardized?
- People come into this trade, and into matchmaking work, with very different backgrounds and different gaps in their understanding. I try to actually assess what a specific person needs rather than delivering the same generic set of lessons to everyone, which requires more attention upfront but produces mentorship that is actually useful…
- What should you know about mentorship flows in both directions?
- Some of the more useful things I have learned in recent years, particularly about building software and reaching customers online, came from younger colleagues and team members with different expertise than mine.
- What should you know about mentorship in a community business carries added weight?
- Mentoring someone in matchmaking work involves passing on not just business skills but also a real sense of the responsibility involved in the work itself, given how personal and consequential the outcomes are for the families involved. I spend real time on this dimension specifically, not just on the operational mechanics of the role.